Distinguish Your Unhappiness

Adila Qamar
3 min readFeb 2, 2022


Most of the times we take longer than normal to understand what we really want, well not knowing is one thing but knowing and not doing anything about it is a big problem. The first thing in a situation where we seem to be unhappy we should actually accept the fact of being unhappy. Now comes the question how to distinguish its existence, some problems that lead us to unhappiness are self created and others are not self created means they are beyond our control.

Let’s talk about the first one “ self created unhappiness”. It’s the most deadliest one, we create it and let it ruin our inner peace and hug it so tightly that it ceases the air from all sides. One very good example would be falling in love with someone who doesn’t care about you. Now how to overcome this feeling of being unhappy, I would be putting the strategy in 10 points

  • Write down what you want on a piece of paper, just write what makes you happy, ideally make a list, this would at-least give you a quantitative measure of what you like.
  • Think about the doable things from the list you have made, this would narrow down your dos.
  • Now you kind of know what makes you happy somehow , start doing it, make an extra effort to achieve it
  • Read about self love, spiritualism, Karma and anything motivating.
  • Engage yourself in some physical activity of any sort, take a walk, listen to your favourite music.
  • Always keep in mind that your sadness is immensely consuming yourself, you can avoid it if you try, remember every night is followed by a day, if today is bad tomorrow could be better.
  • It’s all in the brain, think loved by your own self, be confident even if you don’t feel so, at times when you start living a character you actually become one.
  • Never give up, whatsoever, at-least so you should be HERO in your own story at all times. We are normally perceived by others by how we show it to them. Idealizing your own self is not a crime.
  • Always remember pain is very addictive, firstly we don’t want it but eventually we become accustomed to it and then feeling pain becomes somehow a routine. You have to break the circle.
  • And lastly prioritize yourself, your mental health above everything, if you have even only one person sincere to you, share your thoughts with them.

The unhappiness or sadness that is not not self created and we land into it without intending can be very questionable in its nature, as we haven’t created it and we have to go through it unwillingly. Example could be death of your loved one, some disease, loss of job or anything like that. How to over come this type of unhappiness? The best thing that would soothe yourself would be accepting it. When you accept something you are not denying. Although nothing much can be done to bring it to normal but still try your best to cope with it. Seek help, meditate, talk about it and remember you are not alone, when you realize that you are not the only one who is going through it, you actually pave a way of looking it from above. Identify the triggers that exaggerate it just try to avoid them as far as you can.

Whether you created it for yourself or you were being served with sadness, anxiety always remember you live once and if you are still breathing there is definitely hope, remember as you are sulking for something and shedding tears someone is taking their last breath in this world, so just value your existence and life given to you. Be gentle and kind to yourself in every situation, by loving yourself you will be in peace and you be at ease!!!

Thanks for reading!!!

If this helps you somehow comment your thoughts also, just by sharing things we can actually address many problems.



Adila Qamar

Writing about life relations Self-healing & love has been my greatest passion.